A tryst with the Galaxy — I

A tryst with the Galaxy — I

Light house

The shrill sound of the UNSF-issued alarm clock woke me up, signaling the start of another day of monotonous observation at my space lighthouse. I groggily got out of bed and went to freshen up before donning my uniform and heating up some frozen food for breakfast, lunch, or dinner — it was hard to keep track of the time in space.

As I sat at my observing post, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of disappointment wash over me. I had joined the UNSF, hoping for a chance to explore the vast expanse of space and protect humanity from the unknown. Instead, I found myself staring at a stationary metal ball for hours on end, recording its every movement and sending updates to my supervisor back on Earth. The 8-hour communication delay only added to my isolation.

To make matters worse, the real action seemed to be happening around Jupiter, where the Axis and Allies were locked in a fierce battle over a gaseous compound rumored to have the ability to temporarily enlarge the penis. It was a ridiculous and petty reason to fight, but it seemed that humans would go to great lengths to secure their own desires.

I couldn’t help but feel envious of those soldiers, at least they got to wield lasers and engage in combat. All I had was a pair of binoculars and a contract that kept me stuck at my post for the next 4 years unless I sustained an injury or died. It was like an exile, far from the comforts of Earth and its water, land, and real gravity. I even missed the simple luxury of a bidet.

As I thought about the state of the world, it occurred to me that things had changed significantly since the UNSF was founded. The Allies, led by Russia, were comprised of European countries (excluding Germany), Canada, the US, and Mexico. The Axis, on the other hand, was made up of China, India, Japan, Vietnam, Middle Eastern countries, and Africa. Germany, surprisingly, remained neutral, barricading itself behind walls and carefully selecting who was allowed inside its borders. The US, too, seemed to be more divided than united, with various tribes squabbling amongst themselves.

But perhaps the most concerning development was the emergence of HFSP or Humans for Space Protection. Their ideology, while noble in theory, seemed misguided. They believed that humans should not venture too far from Earth, and had placed metal balls all over the solar system in the past 3 years, claiming that they kept away evil spirits. It was hard to trust a group backed by wealthy clothing entrepreneurs whose headquarters were located on the Moon.

A beep disturbed the string of thoughts, and there I was staring once again at the metal ball that seemed to taunt me with its immobility. I couldn’t help but wonder what the future held for me. Four more years of this monotonous routine seemed like an eternity, and the thought of returning to a divided and war-torn Earth was equally unappealing.

As I was beginning to despair, I got a message that the refueling ship was approaching. Excitement and anticipation welled up inside me as I stood up to greet my fellow humans. Finally, I would have the chance to connect with someone, to share in the joys and struggles of life beyond Earth.

As the refueling ship approached and docked, my excitement began to rise. I looked forward to the opportunity to interact with other humans and learn about their experiences in the vast expanse of space. However, my excitement was short-lived as the crew quickly unloaded their supplies and returned to their ship without taking the time for even a brief greeting. While I understood that they were likely eager to return to the front lines of the ongoing war, their lack of consideration was still disheartening. And I couldn’t help but feel a sense of disillusionment at the thought of fighting for something as superficial and fleeting as temporary enlargement of the penis.

Sighing, I collected the supplies and deposited them in the storage room before returning to my observing post and the endless, monotonous task of staring at the stationary metal ball. It was a lonely and unfulfilling existence, and I couldn’t help but feel a sense of resentment and disappointment at the path my life had taken. Maybe, my dreams were never going to come true.