Once I took my bat and ball to play with some kids I didn’t really know. I don’t remember how I met them or how we ended up at that place to play cricket. We were using one of those red balls used in professional matches. When it was my turn to bat, the other kid bowled, and the ball hit me hard in the abdomen. I lost balance and fell. For the next 10–15 seconds, I couldn’t get up. It hurt. That kid did it on purpose. We were just playing a friendly game. I don’t know why he did it, maybe he was a sadist. I think he enjoyed hurting me. This is one of the reasons you shouldn’t get into a friendly sword fight with people you don’t know. You might think it’s friendly, but maybe they want to kill you.
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Remember those horizontally rectangular school bags? They were so cool. I had one with a Beyblade photo on it, and it even had locks. Pretty cool, right? The only problem was that when I got into the bus, the edges of the bag would rub against the seat, so I had to tilt a bit to walk properly. Soon, those bags went out of fashion. Since we all wore uniforms and covered our books, the only way to show individuality at school was through fashionable bags. Kids, eh. I vividly remember when I bought my first vertical bag. It fit nicely, though all my book covers got torn and the page edges got crumpled. But it was stylish. Hip. I still have that bag, I bought it from a cool store, it was air conditioned, big and all the buyers there were looking rich.
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Have you ever taken a nap and woken up completely confused about what time it was? I had one of those once. I woke up, brushed my teeth, and took a bath, only to realise it was night outside.
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Once I was going to the shop when I suddenly saw a beam of light above me. The next thing I knew, I was inside a spaceship. Weird-looking humanoids were staring at me. I was ecstatic — it had always been my childhood dream to get abducted by aliens. I was so happy it finally happened. I looked around. The whole ship was purple. The aliens looked ugly, though, hmphf. They started speaking in gibberish. At least to me, it sounded like gibberish. After about two minutes, their words started making sense. They asked me if humanity had any plans for space expansionism. I said yes, took out my phone, opened X, and showed them Elon Musk’s profile. They dropped me back at the same place they picked me up from and went off to abduct Elon.
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It was raining cats and dogs — literally. I had two cats and three dogs around me. I didn’t know what to do with them. They kept following me everywhere, so I took them home, fed them, got them vaccinated, and named them. Then I formed an army, with them as my soldiers. I declared war on my neighbours. The next thing I knew, my soldiers were biting the neighbours, peeing on their walls, and the cats were scratching their faces. The neighbours fled. The whole building was mine. I was the ruler. But I was a benevolent ruler. I asked my soldiers to recruit more soldiers, and they did. After a week, I was the ruler of my entire society. My ambitions were just beginning.
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