Many people will tell you that I have no friends, they are wrong, I have many friends, I just have lost touch with most of them. If there is an expiry date for friendships then I guess friendship might have expired. I have online friends too, who exist on the internet, but people have told me those friendships don't matter much. I am yet to witness that.
Friends are extended family, but the extense of the friendship can be argued upon. You can put friends into different buckets, exactly like family. I think there are 4 buckets.
Friends - People you know and are more than acquaintances, once in a while you discuss job prospects, give/take some advice, or talk about house rents
Good Friends - People you have had a meal with at a restaurant, and they have referred you at a job and given good feedback, might invite you to their weddings that you will go to but not buy v expensive gift
Good Good Friends - People have been at your home, they know your family (immediate family), they will visit you at hospital if you fall ill (only once though), they might bring you flowers/gift, they will help you in some ways because they are too kind
Best Friends - People who have been at your home, they have your parents' mobile number, they know your secrets, they know how your brain functions, they know about the girl you like, and your evil plan to destroy the universe, they might not help you when you are getting beaten by thugs, they might also kick you while you are getting beaten up by thugs, there is a good chance they arranged for the thugs, but they will never let you die
Internet Friends - You have same ideologies, you have same favourite authors or anon accounts, you share the same love for memes, you see personality friends, they also know your evil plan to destroy the universe because you have zero opsec and are an idiot for being vulnerable
I think these are some buckets you can divide your friends into. All have layered access to your emotional spectrum. I wonder which bucket I fall into in other people’s lives.
There is one more bucket but if I tell you what it is you will call me cynical, but whatever, I will tell you because as a writer it is my duty to report my real thoughts, one more bucket is "Pretend Friends", people who pretend to be your friends because they want something from you. It is transactional friendship. Okay? Okay.
So how does one identify which friend falls in which bucket? The internet friends bucket is pretty simple - all your virtual friends fall into that. You have to go through your life as it is and you end up identifying who is who. Friendships take time to form. Most friendships are based on proximity, but with the internet things have changed, you can find quirky people online and make frens with them.
Friendships are gratifying when they work. There are times when they don't work, like when your friend has gotten himself involved with shady people and now you have to be his lookout while he robs a bank. These type of requirements put strain on the relationship. I mean, prescription fraud is okay, but robbing a bank carries serious jail time, if caught. I did suggest a better strategy, but he wants to do things his way, okay brother, do what you want, don't cry when I turn state witness against you.
I think I should get in touch with all my friends and just find out what is going on in their lives. I am a nosy fellow. I am also shy and not good at small talk, I don't even know what will we talk about as we have grown so apart that we don't have anything in common. Like with school friends you had school in common, with college friends you had college in common, with work friends you have work and a boss in common, but right now I have nothing in common with their current life, and nostalgia is something that people use for rare occasions. I tried connecting with a friend but, alas, we didn't have much to talk about. When I say connected - I mean I saw them in a dream, in the dream I was convicted of murdering the said friend, and as this friend was a local, the police fabricated evidence against me. Public sentiment also matters when calls for "justice" increase. I was just a scapegoat.
This makes me wonder, do friendships need constant communication or something in common always? Can we be friends if we don't support the same ideology, or share some quirks, or are weird, or love the same person? I dunno.
I used to write letters to my friends, like every year I asked my friends (or people in my contact list) if they want a letter, and I sent them a handwritten letter, my handwriting can be good if I want and bad if I want. It was a personal letter, I wonder if people I gave letters to have kept them somewhere safe or they have been lost in time. I can maybe ask them, but I don't wanna burden or guilt them, so I think I won't. Memories are important, letters can be re-written.
Currently, I have a stray dog friend who hasn't visited me since a week, I wonder where she is, her name is Poggy, I don't think she knows that.
Sorry, I digress.
I am always on the lookout for friends, we can share book recommendations, or I don't know what do friends normally do nowadays? I am out of touch with the current trends. Are friends helping each other take revenge? Otherwise what is the point. A good thumb of rule for friendship is "Will they back you up when someone hits your vehicle and starts acting rowdy". Expectations lead to heartache, you also need to understand that you cannot burden another human being with your troubles. Like asking a friend for a kidney is a big NO, I mean you are sick, why would you ask your friend, I think asking for a kidney from anyone is highly objectionable. Kidney is not something you ask for. Do not take loans that you cannot pay. Ever. Or make promises you cannot keep. Just ruins your reputation. A man's word must carry some weight. Man, Woman, all words, spoken by anyone. If it is a kid then this expectation can be waived. Personally, I expect all my friends to become successful, and have kids and then name their first borns after me, because why not?
I have a lot of friends, did I tell you that? Hmm. I think it can be one way friendship, I haven't asked the other person, but if I ask the other person if we are friends then they will obviously say Yes, unless they are honest.
I think this blog is about friends or maybe my friends, wow. I need to stop being so vulnerable online. This is not good for my future political career.
Anyway
Wanna be frens?
