Getting Mugged in Foreign Land - Parody

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Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction.
Every third world country bloke wants to visit foreign land at least once in a while. My time has come. I received my stamped passport and boarded the flight.
At the airport at foreign land searching for a cab
Random thug appears
thug: oi give me all your earthly possessions or I will stab you with this knife
me: aren’t people already rich in this foreign land? why do you want money from a third world bloke like me?
thug: times are hard, now give me what I want otherwise I will go all stabby stabby on you
me: oh okay *hands over everything*
thug: thanks man, hope you find peace in your life and achieve moksha
me: umm, okay?
At the airport police station
police: so all your earthly possessions were stolen?
me: yes, please file a report and bring my things back please
police: okay, we can only file a report if you show us some identity and your passport
me: but it was stolen
police: so you don’t have a passport?
me: no, I had one but it got stolen
police: we have to arrest you because you cannot prove that you are here legally
me: what? I just arrived at the airport, can you not look at the cctv footage?
police: these camera are performative, most of them don’t work, and things aren’t recorded
me: what but then how will I go back to my country
police: that is not my jurisdiction, the immigrant authority will pick you up tomorrow morning
me: but…what…why…
In the jail cell
cellmate: oh hello celly why did they put you here?
me: my passport got stolen
cellmate: oops, been there.
me: what happened to you?
cellmate: me? oh I was smuggling drugs in my rectum, got caught, this is the 3rd time hahahaha
me: what, wait so they released you the first two times?
cellmate: oh no I escaped from here
me: how?
cellmate: bro this is a high trust society, the jail cells aren’t locked, so I just sneaked out at night
me: can you help me get back to my country?
cellmate: sure bro, where do you live?
me: third world country
cellmate: yeah I can get you there, in fact there is a container being loaded onto a ship that I own that will take you to your third world country
me: oh okay cool
In the shipping container
me: did all of your passports get stolen?
container-mate: yes, outside the airport
me: oh wow
At third world country ship yard
me: okay guys thanks for the help bye
At home in third world country
me: whew that was one hell of an adventure
Thanks.